New year, same me. For the most part, at least. Maybe I’m starting 2019 a little stronger, and slightly less neurotic, but other than that, I’m still ironically referring to myself as trash on regular basis and drinking diet Red Bull everyday.
Like most of you, this year I made some resolutions. I want to keep my nails painted, eat less gluten, spend more time with loved ones, and grow my blog and writing (and by that, I clearly mean have my own show on Travel Channel by this time next year). They’re all pretty reasonable, especially that last one.
If you boil them down they center around me being the person I want to become, in some way or another. Each new year brings so much possibility, with the underlying theme of most of it centering on self-help, aka growth. Every year since I was 15 or 16, I try to imagine who I might be on December 31, and what my life will look like. Each year has surprised me and saddened me and grown me into the work in process I am today.
Possibility is a beautiful and terrifying thing.
If you’re scared of failing this year, of breaking those resolutions or not meeting those goals you set every year. If the thought of ending 2019 as lost as you were when starting it, kinda freaks you out, I get it, and I feel that too. If you worry that life might get in the way of the plans you have, or that you will buckle and eat too many donuts, or will not be as patient as you dreamed you would be, or that you will find out meditation sucks, I think you should take comfort in the simple beauty this year will hold, no matter your circumstances or shortcomings.
You will have a new favorite song of this year.
You will hear a really funny joke.
You will watch a TV show you love.
You will see some beautiful sunsets.
You will overcome something challenging with grace.
You will make memories of moments you can’t even begin to anticipate.
You will have an important conversation.
You will hear a story that moves you.
You will be told good job.
You will grow in the mundane.
Sure these things aren’t loosing 30 pounds, or picking a college major, or traveling to a new country, but they are important.
In these tiny moments and actions, you will inevitably find little parts of yourself.
And guess what, that’s how you find yourself. Not by solo traveling to Thailand, or getting your dream job, or losing 15 pounds. But by calling your grandma once a week, or rasing your kid, or trying to make Sushi at home for the first time. And guess what, you have been doing that for years.
I love resolutions and big dreams and setting goals. But honestly, as people, we rarely follow through 100%. In spite of that, somehow we all end the year a little different than we started it, no matter what.
So congrats on finding yourself last year, I know I’m patting myself on the back some, I can’t wait for us all to uncover a little more.